I was inspired to do a quick trip to upstate NY this fall to attend Nyungne retreat at the Padmasambhava Center. The center is one of the few in the Dudjom Tersar lineage and I was hoping to received teachings from the center's founders but alas, it was mostly a practice based retreat. Definitely one of the more physically challenging retreats due to the fasting aspects and I am glad to be in a formal retreat after so many years of not doing any retreats.

Without a doubt, this trip was motivated by my desire to leave the grey winters of Michigan. I hadn't done a winter migration before so I wasn't sure that the end of january was quite the best time given that I would be sleeping in my van for most of the trip. For the most part, it work out fine as the only snow storm was on my way into Great Smokey National Park and my time there was very brief.

So my first anniversary of ngondro practice is coming up in a few days and I've been thinking about the significance of the practice in my life. I can't quite say it has been so transformative that I quit my life in suburbia and went off on some pilgrimage to find my 'spiritual' home of sorts. Alas, I have certainly thought about making such a drastic change and asking my teachers if I should do such a thing but I feel like I already know the answer. Which is to say, I know enough that just changing the outer circumstances doesn't change the obscurations of my mind and habit. Fundamentally, I have the time/resources to fully practice where I am at even though I don't 'like' it here. Which is to say, I need to focus on the present state of auspicious conditions that has allow a fairly consistent practice in the last year and get over the ego's likes/dislikes/perceptions.