Giulietta

Giulietta narrates the story of her life. Born in Cuba, she took Buddhist refuge in 2014 at the age of 26 or 27. At that time, she was an art historian informally representing artists. Her interest in Buddhism began when an artist introduced her to it, and she soon discovered that a Buddhist teacher was visiting. Despite her lack of prior religious commitment, she decided to take refuge along with her best friend. The opportunity seemed unique, and they didn’t question the type of Buddhism being practiced, which turned out to be Tantra under Lama Ole.

Giulietta immediately began her Buddhist practices with dedication, performing significant prostrations daily. Her life took an unexpected turn when she was invited out of Cuba by an art collaborator. Within seven days, she left Cuba, which was remarkable given the difficulty of leaving the country. She credits her quick departure to her Buddhist practices.

Upon arriving in New York City, Giulietta lived there for four years with a friend who was not a Buddhist. Despite this, she quickly connected with the local Sangha, who provided her with support and a sense of community. Over time, she found employment taking care of children and later moved to the Midwest for a meditation-related job. Throughout her journey, the Sangha played a crucial role in her life, offering mature and consistent support.

Giulietta reflects on her initial excitement after moving to New York City from Cuba, describing the first six months as extremely thrilling, akin to paradise. As an art historian, she had been earning very little in Cuba. Despite her proficiency in English, she encountered significant challenges upon arrival in New York. For four years, she took care of children, including those of her Sangha friends, but struggled to find a job in her field. She faced rejection and felt left out, partly due to her unfamiliarity with the system and being illegal for the first year.

Her attempts to find work in restaurants were unsuccessful, and the reality of the competitive job market in New York City became apparent. Giulietta felt disconnected from the art scene, which she found to be influenced by leftist ideologies that she, as a Cuban with experiences of dictatorship, could not relate to. This ideological clash further alienated her from potential opportunities in the arts.

Giulietta reflects on how religion in Cuba acts as a refuge amid the desperation of living under a dictatorship, comparing it to North Korea in terms of lack of freedom. Despite the vibrant culture, the harsh reality of a heavy dictatorship persists.

Giulietta was deeply connected to the Sangha from the moment she took refuge, feeling an immediate sense of belonging. The Sangha she joined was part of a large international community, creating a familial atmosphere where everyone was important.

Giulietta has always had questions about choosing a teacher in Vajrayana Buddhism. She acknowledges that this is a significant and potentially daunting decision, one that often brings fear and uncertainty. Throughout her journey, she never felt entirely certain about her choices, reflecting the unpredictable nature of Vajrayana.

Lama Ole did not require Vajrayana commitments from his students, which Giulietta appreciated. She observed other students who seemed more bound by these commitments, but her experience was different due to the timing and circumstances of her interactions with Lama Ole.

Giulietta spent ten years exploring the relationship with the teachings and the methods, noting that individual personality plays a crucial role in how one engages with this process. She is the type of person who tends to jump into things without overthinking, contrasting with friends who have spent over a decade contemplating their paths. She noticed that even Buddhists could become paranoid or disconnected from Dharma, particularly in challenging times like the COVID pandemic.

Giulietta believes it is easy to lose the connection with Dharma, regardless of life circumstances. She feels a sense of urgency about making decisions, as time passes quickly. At 37, she feels both young and old and does not want to waste time. She sees certain ages, like 36 and 42, as pivotal for making significant life decisions.

Reflecting on her experience, Giulietta believes it is important to act and see what happens rather than remaining in indecision. She appreciates that Lama Ole did not push students into taking Vajrayana vows prematurely, allowing them to engage without destroying their foundation. Some students took Lama Ole as their Vajrayana master and it worked for them, but Giulietta did not take any vows, which left her in a state of ambiguity.

She thinks that if a teacher intends to give serious vows, they will communicate this clearly to avoid confusion. For Giulietta, remaining in a gray area for too long is problematic. She believes life is short and time moves fast, so it is essential to act rather than spend years in indecision.

Giulietta values her current organized life with one job, one place, and one husband, but still feels the rapid passage of time. She does not want to waste time and emphasizes that different methods and personalities require different approaches. As a Vajrayana practitioner, she feels the need to jump in, while other paths may require more contemplation and commitment.

Giulietta reflects on the profound sense of loneliness in her Buddhist practice, likening it to the concept described by Trungpa Rinpoche as inherent in the Hinayana path. This loneliness, she notes, is challenging but deeply felt.

Over the years, Giulietta has not fully tested complete solitude, as she has never done long, isolated retreats. Her life has changed with the presence of more people around, including her recent marriage and her family’s presence. This contrasts with her time in the Midwest, where she experienced extreme isolation and harsh conditions, a stark difference from her warm, family-filled life in Cuba.

Despite the loneliness, Giulietta feels braver through her practice. Her life remains largely untouched by profound crises, which makes her feel fortunate and somewhat pampered. She acknowledges the transitory nature of life and possessions, understanding that, as a Buddhist, one must not hold on to anything.

Her life is quiet, though punctuated by fast-paced travels and adventures. This calmness might stem from her practice, which allows her to embrace both calm and fiery aspects of herself. She recognizes that practice reveals the fluidity of personality, showing that individuality is not fixed.

Giulietta has become more patient and accepting of her current situation. This new approach to practice involves accepting things as they are, without striving to make them better or more enjoyable. She finds interest in the authenticity of experiences, even if they are uncomfortable. This shift in perspective has brought her a new level of enjoyment in her practice over the past year.

Initially, her practice felt like a disciplined task, but it has now evolved into a source of joy and acceptance. Giulietta appreciates this newfound approach, which focuses on embracing reality as it is.