Gareth, a man raised in the UK with a Christian background, found himself questioning traditional beliefs as he delved into his career as a mergers and acquisitions professional. The turning point came when he, engrossed in work, realized he was missing out on the important moments with his family. This realization prompted a spiritual journey that led him to embrace the big bang and evolution as his personal “religion.”

As he navigated through life, Gareth discovered a deep connection to spirituality through classical music, particularly the works of Bach, and delved into the world’s religions through Houston Smith’s book. A transformative experience during a body scan marked a profound shift in his perspective, leading him to a daily meditation practice and eventually giving up drinking.

Embarking on a Zen Buddhist path, Gareth faced internal challenges but found solace in meditation retreats and gradually became easier to live with, even though he was not actively participating in family life. A significant life transition prompted him to leave the Zen Center, his marriage, and a business relationship, ultimately opening the path to personal growth.

Gareth co-founded Red Clay Sangha, an intentionally nonsectarian community, seeking a more inclusive and non-hierarchical approach to spiritual practice. He later connected with teacher Lisa Ernst, underwent Dharma transmission, and embraced a quieter life with his partner Beth.

Currently in a transitional phase, Gareth is slowing down his professional engagements, cultivating a life centered around Dharma, and exploring the role of a teacher in the next chapter of his spiritual journey.

Gareth reflects on his spiritual journey, delineating three layers of understanding: reading and early studying, deep study and reflection (the realm of the philosopher), and meditation. He emphasizes the transformative power of meditation, describing it as an opening into the non-dual, where true self-discovery occurs.

Gareth recounts a pivotal moment when he realized the disconnect between his intellectual pursuits and the essence of life. This realization, sparked by a shock, led him to explore spirituality through music and extensive reading across various religious traditions. The intellectual understanding became crucial for him to maintain a continuous connection to the profound experiences he encountered.

His meditation practice evolved from traditional Vipassana to intentional stopping and seeing, emphasizing the significance of bridging the gap between the head and the heart. Gareth highlights the importance of maintaining a body-mind connection and cultivating habits that align with a deeper awareness.

He underscores the challenge of staying in the spiritual opening within a culture driven by goals, instant gratification, and the pursuit of recognition. Gareth sees the broader cultural context as a careening culture dominated by social media and a self-centric worldview. His hope is for individuals to show up as peace, be countercultural, and inspire others to find peace in a world consumed by speed and ego-driven pursuits.

Gareth reflects on a significant realization during his spiritual journey, acknowledging that he had not been present for his children after his separation from his ex-wife. Initially facing rejection from his kids, he took a hiatus, which led to a positive shift in his relationships with them. His daughter acknowledged the transformation and expressed gratitude for the lesson that adults can change.

In the professional realm, Gareth shares how his approach shifted from a goal-driven, outcome-focused mindset to one centered around building authentic relationships. He illustrates this change through anecdotes from his corporate experiences, highlighting the impact of showing up authentically and prioritizing human connections. Gareth emphasizes the importance of authenticity and genuine human interactions in the business world, leading to personal and professional success.

Gareth details a pivotal moment when he decided to collapse artificial boundaries between his Zen life and professional life. This integration resulted in a 20% growth in his business. He stresses that people are interested in authenticity and appreciate genuine connections. Gareth believes that living an authentic life and embodying one’s values can lead to a more fulfilling and successful existence. The discussion transcends transactional approaches like “paying it forward,” emphasizing the intrinsic value of authentic living over expecting specific outcomes.

Gareth delves into the complexity of choosing a spiritual teacher, expressing his admiration for Joseph Goldstein but recognizing the challenges of forming a personal connection with a renowned figure. He emphasizes the need for a teacher-student relationship built on intimacy and genuine understanding, as opposed to a transactional dynamic. Gareth, anticipating the establishment of a “One Dharma Atlanta,” underlines the importance of personal context in guiding individuals on their spiritual journey.

Discussing the deepening of one’s practice, Gareth emphasizes the universal foundation of stopping and seeing, asserting their fundamental role in various traditions. He emphasizes his commitment to staying well-versed in multiple traditions to effectively guide others. Gareth acknowledges the necessity of maintaining his own practice and undertaking personal retreats to remain grounded and useful in guiding others.

Gareth underscores the significance of versatility in understanding diverse teachings and limitations in his role, highlighting the importance of listening to individual needs. He emphasizes the role of a teacher as a mirror, helping students uncover deeper questions and providing guidance along their unique paths. Gareth acknowledges the challenges in the West, where financial constraints impact teachers, but also sees an opportunity for students to express commitment through support.

The discussion pivots to the nuanced concept of commitment in the teacher-student relationship. Gareth reflects on the personal nature of this commitment and the financial aspect, acknowledging the importance of a student’s commitment to their practice. He grapples with the ambivalence surrounding the term “student” and underscores the necessity for a genuine commitment to foster deeper intimacy and facilitate spiritual growth.

Gareth reflects on the evolution of his teaching style, acknowledging a shift from an intellectual approach rooted in Zen tradition to a more inclusive and personal engagement with Buddhism. In the Zen context, he excelled in reciting koans and delving into the extensive lists of ancestors. However, upon establishing Red Clay, a center influenced by diverse backgrounds, Gareth, along with two others, transitioned from their roles as ordained Zen priests, creating a space that initially involved self-indulgent reflections on the past.

As Gareth broadened his horizons, exploring Pali Scriptures, Mahayana traditions, and Tibetan teachings, his teaching focus transformed. Rather than merely offering profound teachings, Gareth found his purpose in being there for people, emphasizing presence over content. He shares insights from Dijak, a practitioner from Furnace Mountain, who stopped suggesting that people should practice, a shift Gareth now comprehends. Drawing inspiration from figures like Mr. Goodhart, a self-realized Indian mystic, and Jack Cornfield, Gareth values the idea of showing up and responding to questions rather than imposing content.

Gareth highlights the powerful impact of personal stories in teaching, commending Lisa for her intimate approach. He aspires to emulate her ability to share profound personal stories that resonate deeply, breaking open hearts and connecting with individuals on a more personal level. Gareth emphasizes the importance of making teachings personal and relatable to truly connect with people in a meaningful way.

Gareth reflects on the profound personal transformation he experienced through his Buddhist practice. He openly acknowledges his past selfishness, lack of awareness in relationships, and struggles with alcoholism. The practice helped him develop self-awareness, interconnectedness, and the ability to step outside himself for self-reflection.

The practice led Gareth to quit drinking, a significant shift that he attributes to a growing level of self-awareness and interconnectedness. He describes a noticeable change in the pace of his life, embracing openness, acceptance, and humility. Gareth highlights a shift in his relationship with his wife, Beth, attributing the success of their partnership to intentional efforts, mindfulness, and the teachings of Buddhism. The practice has allowed them to navigate disagreements without arguments and foster a deeper understanding of each other’s triggers.

Gareth simplifies the core teachings of Buddhism as addressing suffering and the end of suffering. He emphasizes the Mahayana concept of superior skillful means, explaining that despite the intellectual complexity found in various Buddhist texts, the teachings are profoundly simple—encouraging individuals to be present, truly awake, and attentive to the present moment. Gareth concludes by stressing the transformative potential of these simple teachings, highlighting the virtuous cycle of calming, opening, and fostering mutual compassion through persistent effort.

Gareth recounts his initial experience at the Atlanta Citizens Center, describing the intimidating atmosphere of the Zen practice setting, with dimly lit surroundings, Shoji screens, and a central figure in black robes. Despite the initial strangeness, his curiosity and a stubborn streak lead him to continue attending.

Zen practice involves silent sitting, gazing at a wall, which initially perplexes Gareth. Over time, he finds value in the practice, especially during retreats, where extended hours of meditation become central. The Zen tradition, while seemingly non-intellectual, paradoxically engages Gareth’s intellectual side, evident in his room filled with books.

The practice of sitting and mindfulness, despite its simplicity, offers profound insights. Gareth shares a pivotal moment where he approached a teacher with a question during a Dokusan, leading to the realization that “it’s sitting, it’s raining.” This experience opened him to non-duality and expanded his understanding.

Gareth also highlights the importance of sangha, the community, in Zen practice, though he acknowledges that his early experience at the Atlanta Soto Zen Center was somewhat distant. As he became more involved, he found himself taking on leadership roles within the community, connecting his meditation practice with compassionate action in the world.

He draws attention to the unique intellectual nature of Zen, considering it an intellectual yet non-intellectual tradition. Gareth’s journey involves a gradual shift from silent sitting to active engagement within the Zen community, aligning with the Bodhisattva path, emphasizing teaching the Dharma and offering the gift of fearlessness or freedom. He concludes by expressing that he lived his Zen practice at the Atlanta Soto Zen Center.

Gareth reflects on the challenging nature of money within relationships and business, noting the destructive impact it can have on families and partnerships. He draws parallels between the potential breakdown of relationships due to financial disputes in his business consulting experience and the broader societal issue of monetizing spiritual teachings.

Expressing concern about the increasing number of meditation teachers being trained without deep internal wisdom, Gareth sees parallels with the yoga industry. He criticizes the current approach, where individuals undergo relatively short training programs and then declare themselves teachers, potentially compromising the depth of their understanding. He emphasizes that true wisdom develops over decades and cannot be achieved through abbreviated training.

Gareth points out the confusion arising from this trend and the challenges ahead for serious practitioners navigating this landscape. He acknowledges the positive aspects of building a culture of kindness and intentionality but stresses the need for a more discerning approach to spiritual teaching. He encourages individuals to explore various practices, urging a slow and thoughtful engagement with community and emphasizing the importance of bringing wisdom to the decision-making process.

Gareth reflects on the challenging nature of money within relationships and business, noting the destructive impact it can have on families and partnerships. He draws parallels between the potential breakdown of relationships due to financial disputes in his business consulting experience and the broader societal issue of monetizing spiritual teachings.

Expressing concern about the increasing number of meditation teachers being trained without deep internal wisdom, Gareth sees parallels with the yoga industry. He criticizes the current approach, where individuals undergo relatively short training programs and then declare themselves teachers, potentially compromising the depth of their understanding. He emphasizes that true wisdom develops over decades and cannot be achieved through abbreviated training.

Gareth points out the confusion arising from this trend and the challenges ahead for serious practitioners navigating this landscape. He acknowledges the positive aspects of building a culture of kindness and intentionality but stresses the need for a more discerning approach to spiritual teaching. He encourages individuals to explore various practices, urging a slow and thoughtful engagement with community and emphasizing the importance of bringing wisdom to the decision-making process.

Gareth delves into the significance of Tibetan preliminary practices and stresses their presence in all Buddhist traditions. He emphasizes the importance of observing precepts before engaging in meaningful meditation, highlighting a temporal and developmental sequence involving generosity, precepts, and practice.

Gareth contends that the easy accessibility of numerous teachers may lead some to hastily adopt a Buddhist identity without truly embodying the compassionate and intentional aspects of the practice. He advocates for a foundational understanding of generosity and the cultivation of virtues through precept practice, asserting that these elements form the basis for a mature meditation practice.

By recognizing the value of preliminaries and the sequential development of precepts, Gareth encourages a more thoughtful and time-sensitive approach to spiritual practice. He underscores the significance of personal development, urging practitioners to prioritize foundational aspects before aligning with a specific community or teacher, emphasizing the unique considerations for both.