Gareth
Atlanta, GA
Discover Gareth's journey of long-term Buddhist practice and how the Dharma transformed his relationships, work, sobriety, and understanding of authentic spiritual life. Through reflections on Sangha, teachers, lineage, and integrating mindfulness into everyday living, Gareth shares a grounded perspective on what it truly means to embody Buddhism beyond the meditation cushion.
Background
Gareth, a man raised in the UK with a Christian background, found himself questioning traditional beliefs as he delved into his career as a mergers and acquisitions professional. The turning point came when he, engrossed in work, realized he was missing out on the important moments with his family. This realization prompted a spiritual journey that led him to embrace the big bang and evolution as his personal “religion.”
As he navigated through life, Gareth discovered a deep connection to spirituality through classical music, particularly the works of Bach, and delved into the world’s religions through Houston Smith’s book. A transformative experience during a body scan marked a profound shift in his perspective, leading him to a daily meditation practice and eventually giving up drinking.
Embarking on a Zen Buddhist path, Gareth faced internal challenges but found solace in meditation retreats and gradually became easier to live with, even though he was not actively participating in family life. A significant life transition prompted him to leave the Zen Center, his marriage, and a business relationship, ultimately opening the path to personal growth.
Gareth co-founded Red Clay Sangha, an intentionally nonsectarian community, seeking a more inclusive and non-hierarchical approach to spiritual practice. He later connected with teacher Lisa Ernst, underwent Dharma transmission, and embraced a quieter life with his partner Beth.
Currently in a transitional phase, Gareth is slowing down his professional engagements, cultivating a life centered around Dharma, and exploring the role of a teacher in the next chapter of his spiritual journey.
Voice & Presence
Integrating Wisdom
Gareth reflects on his spiritual journey, delineating three layers of understanding: reading and early studying, deep study and reflection (the realm of the philosopher), and meditation. He emphasizes the transformative power of meditation, describing it as an opening into the non-dual, where true self-discovery occurs.
Gareth recounts a pivotal moment when he realized the disconnect between his intellectual pursuits and the essence of life. This realization, sparked by a shock, led him to explore spirituality through music and extensive reading across various religious traditions. The intellectual understanding became crucial for him to maintain a continuous connection to the profound experiences he encountered.
Relationships
Gareth reflects on a significant realization during his spiritual journey, acknowledging that he had not been present for his children after his separation from his ex-wife.
Student Teacher Relationship
Gareth delves into the complexity of choosing a spiritual teacher, expressing his admiration for Joseph Goldstein but recognizing the challenges of forming a personal connection with a renowned figure.
Teaching Evolution
Gareth reflects on the evolution of his teaching style, acknowledging a shift from an intellectual approach rooted in Zen tradition to a more inclusive and personal engagement with Buddhism. In the Zen context, he excelled in reciting koans and delving into the extensive lists of ancestors. However, upon establishing Red Clay, a center influenced by diverse backgrounds, Gareth, along with two others, transitioned from their roles as ordained Zen priests, creating a space that initially involved self-indulgent reflections on the past.
As Gareth broadened his horizons, exploring Pali Scriptures, Mahayana traditions, and Tibetan teachings, his teaching focus transformed. Rather than merely offering profound teachings, Gareth found his purpose in being there for people, emphasizing presence over content. He shares insights from Dijak, a practitioner from Furnace Mountain, who stopped suggesting that people should practice, a shift Gareth now comprehends. Drawing inspiration from figures like Mr. Goodhart, a self-realized Indian mystic, and Jack Cornfield, Gareth values the idea of showing up and responding to questions rather than imposing content.
Gareth highlights the powerful impact of personal stories in teaching, commending Lisa for her intimate approach. He aspires to emulate her ability to share profound personal stories that resonate deeply, breaking open hearts and connecting with individuals on a more personal level. Gareth emphasizes the importance of making teachings personal and relatable to truly connect with people in a meaningful way.
Transformation
Gareth reflects on the profound personal transformation he experienced through his Buddhist practice. He openly acknowledges his past selfishness, lack of awareness in relationships, and struggles with alcoholism. The practice helped him develop self-awareness, interconnectedness, and the ability to step outside himself for self-reflection.
The practice led Gareth to quit drinking, a significant shift that he attributes to a growing level of self-awareness and interconnectedness. He describes a noticeable change in the pace of his life, embracing openness, acceptance, and humility. Gareth highlights a shift in his relationship with his wife, Beth, attributing the success of their partnership to intentional efforts, mindfulness, and the teachings of Buddhism. The practice has allowed them to navigate disagreements without arguments and foster a deeper understanding of each other’s triggers.
Gareth simplifies the core teachings of Buddhism as addressing suffering and the end of suffering. He emphasizes the Mahayana concept of superior skillful means, explaining that despite the intellectual complexity found in various Buddhist texts, the teachings are profoundly simple—encouraging individuals to be present, truly awake, and attentive to the present moment. Gareth concludes by stressing the transformative potential of these simple teachings, highlighting the virtuous cycle of calming, opening, and fostering mutual compassion through persistent effort.
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